If I’d known that Buenos Aires was capable of serving up the drink of my dreams I would have moved to Argentina when I was five. Your average guidebook was definitely missing a trick in my younger days. I just checked my 2005 edition of the Lonely Planet Buenos Aires City Guide and I can’t find a single obvious reference to the smoothie from heaven: gotta say I hope they’ve put that right now, or Buenos Aires could be going without streams of much needed tourist ‘dinero’, and your typical ‘extranjero’ will be leaving town not even realising that whole sections of most traditional café menus are devoted to offering an ‘orgasm in a glass’.
The ‘licuado de banana con leche’ is in my view, the absolute bees knees. If magicked up by the licuado maker to meet my exacting standards it will be ice cold so that water droplets form on the outside of the glass in the summer heat; it will offer there-really-is-a-banana-present caresses to my tongue; it will slide creamily down my throat to cool me on the inside from lips to belly; and it will definitely be in a glass that is bigger than my head. If it’s served in a jug that’s the size of an obscenely massive Starbucks coffee bucket, then even better. If so, it can be a decent potassium and calcium fired meal, pre milonga energiser, post supermarket queue de-stresser… oh hell, who needs a reason?
Unfortunately the price of ‘liquid sex’ has rocketed of late, and so it has become my mission to seek out quality ‘maximo’ for pesos ‘minimo’. Less than $10pesos and you’ll be able to spot me in the corner looking manically enthusiastic above my straw (see above). In Las Cañitas, Palermo or Theatreland Corrientes you’re probably looking at more like $15pesos (which rather alarmingly is around three UK pounds) and a far smaller glass, although it is not impossible to land value for less cash, if that is, you are armed with the secrets that all licuado lovers like me have collected over gallons of research. I’ve got three and I’m willing to share them right now… God I sound like one of those professional blogging websites… next I’ll be sending out weekly emails with the hottest Cool Tip for Licuado Lovers, or signing you up to pay me money to learn of The Top Ten Lugars for LLs. Ah now there’s a thought!
I’m nice so I will spill the beans for free, but you gotta promise me that if you come to Buenos Aires and find the perfect licuado pit stop, you’ll write a comment and give me the address. Or if you’re really rich and generous, then one way to prove it would be to offer to buy me a licuado in exchange for the joy of reading the delicious information in this post. If you do, and you can convince me that you ain’t some psycho who wants to steal my licuado secrets and sell them to the News of the Screws, then you could end up on this page or some other page that I’m fantasising about writing… let me interview you over a liquid banana and stash the story of the moment in my future projects file along with a photo of you (if you crave stardom), the licuado and the licuado magician who created it. What d’ya reckon? Yes, maybe I’m in dreamy creamy land here, but I’m finding myself fancying turning my weekly licuado expeditions into a little more than the selfish pleasure sipped from the glass…
Thing is, the lovely Julia Cameron says let your inner artist play, and frankly right now I’m sick of serious writing projects that leave me feeling that I am in fact the ‘not very talented woman’ that some kind soul drew my attention to in a comment on one of my ‘I’ve been dancing tango one year’ You Tube videos a few months ago – and yes the video does make me cringe a bit, but it is almost eighteen months old and we all know there’s only one professional in it. So instead of restricting myself to things I thought I wanted to write about, I’ve decided to go for optimistic creative play in the city I love, over pressure in the head I can sometimes hate, and see what happens. One thing always leads to another right?
And that brings me very neatly to the fact that if you really do fancy a damn good licuado in Buenos Aires you will by now be desperate to know those secrets I mentioned, and pretty annoyed that so far you haven’t received them. Well, here they are then:
THREE SECRETS FOR LICUADO LOVERS THIRSTY IN BUENOS AIRES
- The best licuados are born in traditional Porteño cafés mainly frequented by Porteños. Look for waiters dressed in long aprons and bow ties, and a bar complete with fabulous but well-used coffee machines, juice squeezers and liquidisers. If you can see fruit on display, all the better. In these places licuados are often served in a jug; you get the entire contents of the liquidiser to yourself. Plus, the menu is usually posted up in the window so you can check the price before committing. In my experience, anywhere that looks as if it’s been down the ‘Let’s market ourselves to tourists’ route is to be avoided: the quality may be OK, but you’ll probably only get a small glass, and the price can be heading for $20pesos. Truly, the more spit and sawdust a venue, the better the licuado can be, and the price could be as low as $8pesos: posh exterior does not guarantee top notch product. Just so you know, La Faena, one of the most exclusive hotels in Buenos Aires, was charging $30pesos for a glass, not a jug, in December 2008 and it was thin beyond belief… not exactly the cream of the licuado crop.
- When ordering your ‘licuado de banana’ you must remember to utter the two vital words ‘con leche’. If you don’t, then I’m afraid you will be getting a glass of banana, sugar and water only and you might be complaining that the licuado was not at all creamy and far too skinny. I think if you choose banana as your fruit inside then you really must add the milk to it. I’ve never tried one without, and I have to say I don’t really want to. Course, with other fruits such as melon, or peach, maybe the watery variety will be deliciously refreshing… What you do need to know is that ‘con leche’ means a price hike of $2pesos on the base price. It usually states this fact in the menu, under the list of flavours, but you might not notice it. When ordering say, “Un licuado de banane con leche, por favor,” and you’ll get the milk version, and hopefully a smile on your face.
- My money saving tip if there are two of you, is to order one licuado to start with and see how big it is. Then, if it comes in a jug you can always ask for another glass, explaining that you are going to share, “Otro vaso, por favor. Vamos a compartir.” Mind you, don’t try this little trick if you’re buying me one. Steaks I am happy to share, but licuados…. no.
Oh I know I said three secrets, but here’s a bonus tip to ease the path to contentment:
You shouldn’t have to say this when ordering because the licuado magician who knows, knows. But if you find yourself in a place where you suspect the goods may not live up to the promise, you could always add the words, “Bien frio, por favor,” and that should help to ensure that you get cold, rather than luke warm… nothing worse than room temperature milk when you’re hoping for that orgasm in a glass is there?
Happy slurping.
His is the coke, mine’s the rest. The way it should be. Punto.
Photo credit (the one of me) goes to Caroline who understands my obsession.
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Por el amor de Gauchito Gil! 15 pesos!
This is something I would make all the time as a kid when there was no food in the fridge. And I did not grow up in Argentina.
Better get yourself a handblender. The liquado would only cost you 2 pesos max.
Hint a little vanilla extract and sugar helps. -
Hi Joli,
Well I did used to make them myself in English summers past, but somehow I love the search for the best for the least in the traditional cafés of this great city… it’s the whole experience and not only what’s in the glass you see. I’ll be holding out as long as possible before I say goodbye to the occasional licuado treat. And finding the cheap but fabulous is part of the challenge!
SC
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Mmmmm, but somehow i prefer my licuado with water rather than milk…and I think sometimes they go a bit heavy on the sugar…If I find my favourite one in the next two months I’ll let you know where!!!!
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Hi Claudia,
They can be sweet it’s true, but I always manage to polish them off regardless!
Will look forward to receiving your recommendation!Thanks. SC
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I look forward to sampling the results of your research.
Drink some more, you are too thin….
Love ya,
Mikey xxx -
Drink some more? Oh well… if I must
Actually I did today. Scored one for $7.50pesos. It was fairly downbeat café in Monserrat area, he actually asked me if I wanted sugar in the drink, and it was served in two separate mug-like glasses (easily enough for two) – reminded me of two half pint jughandled beer glasses, and no straw. Wasn’t the best, but I think he did his best if you know what I mean.
Will probably pick one of my more regular and slightly more upmarket licuado hang outs to share with you guys.
SC
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Hi Sally,
I don’t suppose you will answer as you will have moved to greater things. When at the Ideal last year I found a fellow Brit who could dance. It was you! I was with my wife Ann and we are both “elderly”. We spoke to you and another lady friend and followed your blog.
We have now bought your book and await delivery.
We will again be in BsAs all September. Do you st ill lie there
Regards Bill & Ann Froud-
Hello Bill and Ann,
Of course I will answer your comment! Thank you so much for following my blog, saying hello here and also for buying my book!
I hope you enjoy it and that you will think it can be useful for tango dancers headed for Buenos Aires. Do let me know… (oh, and don’t forget to check The (Happy Tango) Updates Blog at http://sallycatway.com/happytango/updates/ before you travel as I’ll be posting the occasional update there).
Normally I would be in Buenos Aires in September, but my mum has been very poorly this summer and so Carlos and I are going to be the UK until the end of September (current plan), so I might miss you on your next visit.
Soooo, enjoy your trip to our great city of tango dreams, and if by some chance I am back there and you see me, do come and say hello!
Un abrazo, SC-
I have only just found this reply on a search for something else. I danced with Helen the other night at the Ideal and she let me know about your Mum. I am so sorry and do hope that she makes a full recovery.
We think your book is wonderful and we are recommending that all our Tango Pupils purchase it. It is so well written and some of the comments really made us rock with laughter. I count the 15 elephants!! Can’t speak Casitillano so it was so on the spot.
Also wanted to talk to you as we did a review of 16 Milongas from the viewpoint of a couple. It was published to the Dance community of New York. We are reassessing our opinions again now having bean to 14 Milonga in 14 days (not all different this time but different organisers). If such information is useful to you pro gratis let me know via Tangoargenta@aol.com and when we have finished the Diary review I will send you a copy (photos and all).
Hugs
Bill
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Hi Bill (& Ann)
Happy you found my reply, and delighted you are giving the thumbs up to Happy Tango! How super that you danced with H. and got some news of me (I do so miss my Mondays at Ideal!).
Yes, milongas from the point of view of a couple – very different ball game to that of a ’solo dancer’… I’d love to read your review, so I will be in touch. Thanks a million for the offer. It’s good to collect thoughts and views and pop them into the cauldron for the next edition of Happy Tango.
Thanks very much for recommending the book to your tango pupils. I honestly think that it is a good read for any lover of Argentine Tango (even if they have no immediate plans to head to BsAs), and I am so pleased that you found it well written and that it made you laugh a few times – it is called Happy Tango, after all!!!
Eventually I hope to contact every tango community in the world to let them know that my book exists, but, for the personal reasons you mention, I’ve not managed as much book promotion this summer as I had intended, and anyway, word of mouth and personal recommendations cannot be beaten, can they? So, thank you!
Pls do tell them about The Updates Blog on the book’s website and the book’s FB page too, as I’m trying to make sure that readers do have access to the latest information!
http://sallycatway.com/happytango/updates/
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Happy-Tango-Sallycats-Guide-to-Dancing-in-Buenos-Aires/137863069584269?ref=tsMum is doing so amazingly and inspires me every day to live life to the absolute fullest… I appreciate your good wishes for her.
If you are still in BsAs enjoy the rest of your trip, and when I can in the not-too-distant, I will be in touch.
Un abrazo fuerte, SC
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Oh my goodness, Sally, now you’ve got me on a mission. I make “smoothies” at home almost daily and have been debating about springing for a blender which seems frivolous since I am only here for two more months. Will now be checking the cafes in my area for liquados con leche and save myself the bother of finding a blender. Do you have recommendations for cafes you know have the best?
It’s funny, but there is something serendipitous about your blog and me. It seems whenever I get a chance to read your old posts, I stumble on events and places that coincide with my own life. For example, you mentioned La Cabrera in a post I read, and I had just eaten there (twice) the week before with my friend Carmen. (Love, love, love that place.) “The Voice” post came when I was hearing my own VOD harassing me all week. (Thank you for sending me the other link, my VOD has calmed considerably for now.)
Last night, I read this one and had to laugh because I went to Farmacity yesterday afternoon on a curiosity mission to find lactose enzyme. Being lactose intolerant and aware of how amazing the ice cream is here, I made sure I packed plenty for my trip since I wasn’t sure how accessible it would be, but I have been indulging in mucho helado in the last few weeks and was wondering what the cost to restock might be.
Unfortunately, I discovered that it costs $122 pesos for only 20 tablets. Crazy. I thought it was expensive in the U.S., but this is at least triple the cost. It is a myth that Argentina is a cheap place to live. Cheap lomo, yes. Empanadas for less than a buck, YAY!!! But God help the lactose intolerant Argentine. Can’t find almond or soy milk anywhere and it seems the locals have no idea what I am talking about. (Although that could also be my lack of vocabulary and horrible Castellano grammar.) Fortunately, one gentleman was able to direct me to lactose REDUCED milk at the supermercado so I am now able to at least eat cereal and a glass of milk without having to waste an enzyme tablet which I now know is worth its weight in gold.
Fear not, however, I will still eat ice cream and I will now be on the hunt for the best liquado in town. I coincidently have 43 enzyme tablets left and my boyfriend gets here in 39 days with a new supply. So I get to indulge once a day (which is more than I have been doing), and on a couple days I may even be able to have ice cream AND a liquado on the same day.
Hope your mother is making a strong recovery and that you are in good spirits. Time and love heal all things. Besos, Amy
Amy Allison´s last blog ..My mates and mate
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Hello Amy, ah, well for a banana licuado that I like (simply made and served in a plastic jug, we are not talking flash here) in an historic cafe that I like, try Los Galgos
http://www.argentinaindependent.com/reviews/54-bars/54-bars-cafe-los-galgos-/
Licuados were getting mega-expensive before I left, but I think this one was still in my price range, and I do like the place.
It’s great that you are working your way through my old posts… I’m sorry if you find some of the links are broken (eg. the nextstop ones are, I noticed the other day).
When I get back to BsAs and/or have a bit more time, one of my jobs will be to give the blog a bit of a spring clean.
I’m so glad to hear your VOD has quietened – keep seeking out those licuados and all other treats besides… feed your inner artist, quieten your Voice of Doom. Works for me, anyway!
Un abrazo, SC
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Sally, please don’t stress about broken links. Your words and wit are entertainment enough. Besides you have much more important things on your plate. I certainly don’t judge you, and for those that do, well, to hell with them.
I stumbled upon a kiosko on my way to school that has licuados de banana con leche for only $6 pesos! It’s not served with the jug, of course, since it’s only a kiosk, but it is the perfect size (about ½-liter) for me to grab one and drink it on my walk to Spanish class in the morning. So very delicious, and for $6 who can complain?
You are right, though, the cafés are much more expensive. In my area about $12-$15 plus $2-$3 more con leche. I am on the search, though, and will try the one you recommended as it is near my school as well. I now look at every café menu I pass to see if they offer a reasonably priced licuado. I am the licuado hunter now.
By the way, I am having my first lesson with Ariel tomorrow. Since I have to keep my business running from here, as well as taking Spanish classes and squeezing in as many milongas as I can, I haven’t had the time I had hoped for tango lessons other than a few group classes here and there with a teacher I went to on a prior visit. Brilliant dancer and teacher, but at $320 pesos per hour, I cannot afford him for private lessons.
You haven’t steered me wrong yet, so I decided to email Ariel last week and found that he is very reasonably priced for privates. I mentioned your recommendation to him. He was quick to respond and seems very sweet and charming via email. I am a bit nervous as I have never had a private lesson without my boyfriend, and so all eyes will be upon me and my tango short-comings. I am sure I will be fine, but the anticipation of events is always worse than the reality.
Still sending positive thoughts and energy your way for your family. Besos, Amy
Amy Allison´s last blog ..My mates and mate-
Amy, enjoy your lesson with Ariel and give him a big kiss from me!
If you read this before you go, take my book with you to show him, as he hasn’t actually seen one for real yet
Un abrazo fuerte, SC-
He’s a great teacher, thank you for the recommendation. I have scheduled a weekly lesson with him.
I showed him your book. He was very excited and impressed. Amy
Amy Allison´s last blog ..My mates and mate-
Amy! Sooooooooo happy you had great lesson with Ariel. He is fab and I miss him!
And I’m delighted you were able to show him the book. Thanks.
Keep enjoying!
SC
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