Sallycat’s Adventures has been quiet this summer, I know. Stuff happened that, on the face of it, didn’t seem to fit with a blog, originally written from Buenos Aires, that aspires to climb to the giddy heights of inspiring others to live their dreams.
My UK family has found itself up close and personal with the (pretty grim at times, and especially so for my mum who has undergone surgery to build a new tongue from part of her arm) realities of oral cancer. Somehow, it seemed just too much to expect readers to leap from tango connections of a blissful kind, freshly-published tango guide books and dancing for joy in Buenos Aires, to the National Health Service (impressive though it has turned out to be), intensive care units, and the gruelling side effects of thirty-three days of daily radiotherapy to the mouth and neck, and the accompanying chemo treatments. Know what I mean?
And yet I do find blogs that drift away into the ether with fewer and fewer posts a little distressing. When the updates stop, I ponder over the authors. Have they got writer’s block? Have they lost their passion for the subject they once championed? Or, have they changed their whole life philosophy/direction and can’t bring themselves to come clean? And of course, perhaps most importantly, Are they OK? I don’t want you to be wondering those things about me. So, whatever the circumstances, I’ll briefly share with you where I (Tango dancer. Writer. Adventurer.) am in the light of finally (and, oh how fortunate I am that I’ve been given until the age of 47 to discover it) being faced with the truth that neither my loved ones, nor I, will actually live forever.
I’m in England, in the town where I was born. I’ve been here through late-spring alliums into late-summer dahlias and this week, as I walked into town along the bank of the River Severn, I held out my hand to try to catch falling leaves. After four months in Shropshire, supporting us all with his guardian-angel-calm presence, my beloved C. is now back in Buenos Aires. We are lovers, life partners and soul-mates of the most profound kind and we will fill each other’s arms again within weeks we hope, but for now, we are unexpectedly but necessarily apart, connected every day by Skype, and every instant by the powerful knowledge that closeness is certainly not about distance.
Whenever I don’t write to you on this page, it’s usually because I’m considering stuff that I’m not yet ready to tell, or it’s because I’m having to turn my attention elsewhere. This summer its been a combination of both, and in all honesty, with what’s happening with my Mum and the fact that I have temporarily spun from full-on tango dancer, writer and adventurer into eldest daughter, big sister and chief carer, I’ve temporarily lost the personal resources and hours in the day required to blog my heart out about my life journey, even if it is in the interests of inspiring others to Go for it! That’s why there have been no updates here for over a month, and why I can’t promise that there will be more any time soon.
I just don’t want you wondering about my silence. And, if my silence continues for a while, this post is by way of explanation.
My mum’s cancer is teaching me many things, most of which (like in my case, before this happened) you wouldn’t want me to tell you (it’s a human self-preservation thing). But, hey, when it all kicks off unexpectedly and you feel aspects of your own life shrink as if to fit inside a 60ml syringe or put on hold because you need to do your bit for someone you love now, you sure as hell become doubly happy that you did indeed go after your own dreams while you had the chance.
On that subject, the journey of my book Happy Tango, has been a gleam shone into the gloom of too many hospital days and I want to say a huge Gracias to every one of you who have supported me in my efforts to make Happy Tango the classic tango guide book that I, and many of its readers, believe it deserves to be. If you have already bought it, I thank you. If you have given it a great review, I thank you. If you have interviewed me, I thank you. If you’ve ‘Liked’ or ‘Shared’ the book’s Facebook page, I thank you. If you have recommended the book to a friend or a student or a teacher or a community of tango dancers, I thank you. Please keep doing it all!
One thing. When spreading the word, do remember that Happy Tango is not any old ordinary guide book destined to go out of date without a thought for its reader. It’s a guide book with its very own Updates Blog! As changes happen on the ground in Buenos Aires between editions of the book, the Updates Blog will aim to keep readers up to date with major ‘need to knows’. So far there have been updates on Práctica X, El Amague, Tango Brujo and GretaFlora. The book’s Facebook page will publish news, sometimes even faster than the Updates Blog can (as in the case of milonga Loca! last weekend), so do please click here to visit the page and ‘Like’ it (by clicking the ‘Like’ button at the top) to get notice of all the updates direct to your Facebook feed. Be part of the Happy Tango community. Comment on posts and share with other readers. Make sure you stay in touch!
If you’ve enjoyed the book already, or if you don’t fancy investing in it for yourself (!), here’s a suggestion. If you are buying a Christmas gift for a tango dancer this year, then why not make it my guide book? In fact, if you need to buy any kind of gift for any fan of any kind of dance at all, then Happy Tango could be just the thing! Let’s face it, the fabulously entertaining Strictly Come Dancing is on our UK screens again, and Strictly’s Vincent and Flavia will be touring with their own tango show Midnight Tango in 2011, so (in the UK at least) what could be a more topical present than a book that aims to help turn fantasies of dancing the real thing, Argentine tango in Argentina, into reality?
So that’s it. Where I am. For now.
I’m sorry I haven’t been able to write to you for a while. I just haven’t really known what to say. Thanks Christine in LA for commenting on my last post today, and reminding me not to disappear completely without a word.
I have learned, on my journey to Buenos Aires and beyond, that it’s more joyful to keep gaps, changes and separations, whether temporary or not, upbeat. A light and easy, See you soon, works well for me. That way, there’s far less drama and a lot more hope. So, for now, I’m going to stick with smiles, and leave you with Me and my Dad and my darling C. larking about, a few weeks ago, just off the A1 (M) in northern England, in the company of the biggest angel I have ever seen.
May guys like him protect you and me and my Mum until we meet again.
Keep flying towards your own dreams my friends, and I’ll see you soon!
Sallycat
Buy Happy Tango: Sallycat’s Guide to Dancing in Buenos Aires, and start flying towards your own tango adventure in Buenos Aires, today!
Click a link to buy Happy Tango from:
amazon.co.uk
amazon.com
amazon.ca
amazon.fr
barnesandnoble.com
BookDepository.co.uk
BookDepository.com (the Book Depository offers free shipping to many countries). If you prefer to buy from your bookstore, then you should be able to get them to order you a copy, wherever you are in the world. Ask for:
ISBN: 9780956530608
Author: Sally Blake
Published by: Pirotta Press Ltd
Publication date: 30 June 2010
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Hey Sally,
Nice to see a new post. I must get round to one of my own soon…
Cheers,
Mark.-
Yes Mark, it takes the time it takes, eh?
Un abrazo, SC
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Great to hear from you Sal. Love and best wishes to you & Carlos, and to your Mum for a speedy recovery.
Jo
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And Jo, may I say, GREAT to hear from you too!
Oh how wonderful that you are still reading along with me. I am so sorry I didn’t make it to see you – the summer just went pear-shaped, as dear Mike would say
I hope you guys are doing well.
Big hug, SC-
Tony & I are doing fine thanks. You and Carlos missed one heck of a party for my 50th in August – it would have been a slice of British life the like of which I’m sure Carlos hadn’t experienced before! There were about a hundred of us in our garden enjoying a hog roast, live band and copious amounts to drink. Thank heavens you’re only 50 once! Keep in touch ~ it would be great to see you next time you’re in the Winchester area. xxx
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Ah Jo, yep, sorry we missed that slice of Brit life! I know you will have celebrated in style.
Cup of tea next time we’re in the area would be lovely…
Big love to you both, SC
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May the Angel of the North and many more be with you and your family during this hard time.
I don’t comment much on your blog, but I enjoy reading it. Hope we can read you again soon.
Take care!
Jorgelina´s last blog ..Padre e Hijo – Father and son
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Hello Jorgelina, I just looked at your Flickr link – some cool pics there of some of the Big Angel’s neighbours in the north of England – places I saw myself just a few weeks ago! It’s great to know that you enjoy reading my blog; thanks for commenting now… kinda encourages me to trust that those angels will help me find the way to keep writing.
Un abrazo, SC-
Hi there! Yeah, I’ve been to the North East twice. My boyfriend is from up there and from down here. I had a wonderful time both times, it’s such an amazing place to live in! He thinks the same of Bs As, btw.
As for writing your blog, we’ll all be checking our update feeds to see if you’re around. I’m not a Tango kinda person, but something in your blog made me stay. I hope that your mom gets well soon and you find your way back, even if it’s for a few lines, even if it’s for something that isn’t quite related to Tango. We’ll be glad to hear from you.
Take good care!
Un beso.P.D. And let me just add that I admire you so much for having the courage to live here, so far away from your country, your family, a complete different kind of life. I wish I had only half the courage to do the same.
Jorgelina´s last blog ..Padre e Hijo – Father and son-
Thank you Jorgelina, writing this blog has been a huge part of my journey over the past few years, as has the crazy impulsiveness (rather than courage, perhaps) that first landed me in Argentina. Now Me and C. have much to consider… longer term future, where we live, how we live, the kind of life we both really want (stuff that’s probably familiar to any couple from different lands). This summer has brought up a lot of new stuff for me, and I won’t ever be quite the same again. But, I feel stronger for it. Me and C. walk on in our adventure. We will find our way.
My warmest wishes to you and your boyfriend from the North East!
SC
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Hi Sal
I am glad to hear that your Mum is recovering and that you are well. Come down South before you leave and let us send you on your way with a dance. If you cant make it, then we will have to come to BA’s in the New Year.
Luv JB-
Hello JB, ta for sticking with me and sending me this upbeat message.
Not sure I’ll make it down south again (alas) so it might have to be a milonga of your choice in BsAs next year!
I wonder which of the HT ‘20 Places to Try First’ you’d fancy…
Nice to think happy tango thoughts, ain’t it? Keeps me going, anyway
Warm abrazo, SC
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So sorry to hear about your mother’s illness, but I am glad you shared. It may sound strange, but my advice is to embrace these moments of stress and sadness and heartache you are feeling now as it will make the happy times that much sweeter when they come around again. Your mother and you and your whole family will be in my thoughts often and I will send positive happy vibes your way.
And if I happen to see Carlos at a milonga while I am here in Baires, I will be sure to say “Hi.” He’ll have no clue who I am, I will barely be able to speak to him in castellano, but if he tells you that a strange woman came up to him enthusiastically speaking your name and mentioning your book, you will know it is me.
Take care, mi amiga! Amy
Amy Allison´s last blog ..¡Ciao- mi amiga!-
Hello Amy, thank you for these thoughts. I do agree with what you say. I always think of my favourite rickety old roller coaster in Great Yarmouth, that I’ve been on most summers for all my life… the screaming flying arm-waving rushes down wouldn’t be anything without the dragging inching nervous-giggling climbs up. And in one sense, I’m relieved that I hurt so much sometimes, because it’s the proof that I know love.
Do say hi to C. yes… but make him practise his English! I don’t want him to forget all he learned over the summer!
(Still working on those books).
I hope to be back soon too, and so perhaps we may meet, too.
Un abrazo, SC
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P.S. Did you send a box of Happy Tango books home with Carlos?
Amy Allison´s last blog ..¡Ciao- mi amiga! -
Lovely to see another post here, I’d been hoping you would post again, and had been checking back often! As far as I’m concerned they’re always welcome, whatever the subject. Thank you for being so honest with us, as always, about something so personal. I can’t wait to have you back in BsAs and in the meantime, much love to you and all my best wishes for your mum’s continuing recovery. Hxx
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H.
You know that writing thing. How it kinda tortures you until you do it again… it’s so with me and this damn blog.
I felt so happy and sad at the same time the other day to think of you and C. in La G. So happy you were hooking up. So sad that I wasn’t there.
Won’t it be great to do it together soonest!? Oh YES!
Hugest hugs my dear friend, SC
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Hi Sally
……..in your own time. We’ll still be here. Good luck.
Terry
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Hello Terry,
Thank you. Your comment felt calm and reassuring to me when I read it late last night.
Just what I needed.
Un abrazo, SC
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Hi Sal
You know sometimes, when it is darkest, it helps to write it all down, sort of like a confessional.
Shame we will miss you over here and probably back home as well, still the main thing is your Mum is improving.
They still do tango over here and I am rushing out to get my penultimate fill, so sorry if it is a bit short.
We have been looking out for Carlos but not seen him at any milongas, he is probably at home pining for you.
I am glad to hear you will be returning to him soon, I am sure he misses you.
Tangobob´s last blog ..More photos-
Hi Bob, sorry delay in publishing this comment. It slipped through my rather currently chaotic net!
Me and C. are now back in each other’s arms I am delighted to say. Mum is home and slowly slowly recovering. I am in the city of tango dreams again and slowly slowly recovering.
Am glad you’ve had a happy visit to BsAs this time, as every time.
Safe journey back to Blighty to you and Viv.
Warm abrazo, SC
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Hi Sally,
I’ve heard lots of nice things about you from friends and I loved your book. I just recommended it to a friend. I’m sorry to hear your mother is dealing with cancer. I had 6 weeks of crazy-intense radiation to head and neck about 17 years ago. It’s a truly grueling ordeal. I remember I was desperately wanting to talk to someone who had gone through my treatment, so if my experience can be informative to you or your mom don’t hesitate to contact me! Best wishes to you both, Pamela
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Hello Pamela, thank you so much for your comment, and letting me know what you went through… like so many things in life, only those who go through it really really know. Gruelling is indeed the word. Mum is now home and slowly but surely recovering her strength; it’ll be a while before she can eat real food but now I am in BsAs again, she can talk to me on the phone and I can hear her lovely new voice. How wonderful to know that you came through your treatments and are reading my book 17 years later! Very very happy to hear it! And of course also to hear that you liked the book enough to recommend it. Thank you. Personal recommendations and great reviews count for so much. I don’t know if you are a Facebook person, but the book has a Facebook page now for all the updates at http://facebook.com/happytango and of course the updates blog at http://sallycatway.com/happytango – do stay in touch.
Thank you for connecting, I truly appreciate it.
Un abrazo fuerte, SC
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