Ariel Yanovsky

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On learning to be the tango boy, when you are really a girl — Part 1

February 2, 2011 in Diary of a Tango Dancer in Buenos Aires, Sallycat in the UK, The journey to 'be the boy' | 20 comments

I never thought I’d want to learn to be a tango boy. I mean, why (in heaven’s name) would I when I can get bliss, and feel like the most desirable woman on the planet whenever I want, in the arms of men?

But that was before I got a bee in my bonnet about passing on (to my fellow Brits who want to feel deeper connections in their tango abrazos) what I’ve learned from the milongueros I love the most, on the subject of tango heaven. I can never quite graduate to be a man, so I can never feel what a milonguero feels as he embraces a woman, but perhaps by putting myself in their steps I can glimpse a few clues to their mastery. At least, that’s my enthusiastic-Sallycat/Barbie theory.

The practice has been one month (so far) of two, hour-long, private-lessons each week with my own master-teacher, Ariel Yanovsky. He originally taught me how to be a woman in tango, clean and classy, salon-style. Then, the milongueros got their hands on me, and took the pivot out and put the could-be-termed-bad-habits-by-the-Villa-Urquiza-buffs in (‘cos the dance floors are packed in BsAs, the steps are short-ish, and the hip-wiggles feel gorgeous to both them and to me). Now, having said Extend, slide, arrive to my female-tango-dancer a zillion times, Ariel is teaching me to do something else entirely in order to ‘be the boy’.

I gave him a bit of a challenge. One month, because we’ll be in different countries for a long time after that. Teach me enough so that I can spend the months ahead practising my boy-technique and building my boy dance skills and dance-floor-navigation skills. Shall I do three classes a week? I asked. And he said, No, and explained that we’d be covering a lot of ground fast, and I’d be better to spend some time practising with a friend to allow my body to absorb and remember what I was learning in the lessons. One day you’ll ‘get’ things and the next day you’ll forget them, then one day the ‘penny will drop’ (yep, he knows that phrase in English) and your body will finally understand… might be soon but more likely it’ll be a while ahead. I knew exactly what he meant. I’m already a tango dancer, and I understand something of my process of learning to dance, where body tends to lag behind mind. I’m a hell of a lot more relaxed than I was during month one the first time round; I don’t freak out when I can’t ‘get something’ I’m being taught, I know it’s a process, just like any other learned skill or new behaviour. Plus, this time it’s more important to me to enjoy myself than anything else. “Dancing tango” and “learning new stuff” are on my Joy List, after all.

Tango mujer (foto by Helen Coyle)

Tango boy (foto by Ariel Yanovsky)

I am slightly shocked to find out how distant ‘learning to be the tango boy’ feels from ‘learning to be the tango woman’. It just doesn’t seem like the same dance at all… Thinking versus voiding the mind. The need for decisive action (even if it is a pause) versus the choice to surrender. Calculation versus invited response. I am shocked, but I rather like it. But I think my reaction is more awe and wonder than anything else. Frankly, learning to be the boy appeals to the achiever in me, the problem solver in me, the mathematical and logical and analytical mind in me, the musician in me, and it offers me exploration of opposite sides of my being, the yin yang of me. Yet, the whole experience makes me acutely aware that, as the Wikipedia entry for yin yang says, Opposites only exist in relation to each other. In this learning experience, most definitely. Knowing the girl side of the coin makes me curious about the boy side and leaves me clapping with excitement at the differences I am discovering. Had I only ever learned the boy part, perhaps I’d be giving up already at the amount of decision-making involved. Now, I’m just in awe of how my favourite male dancers do what they do. They are utter geniuses. And I am hooked. I have to know more of their secrets.

In my classes, Ariel teaches me technique, foundation steps that I can link together to build my dance, awareness of the direction of the dance and the ronda, how to stay safe and how to cope with obstacles. He checks I understand everything we do by testing me, making me say what I will do before I do it, asking me to explain what happens when things go differently to what I expect. As we work I know he sees the cogs of my mind turning and meeting and pausing and puzzling and finally dancing. I think I surprise him with my processing and implementation of all that he teaches. He says Very good! a lot (which he rarely did when I was learning to be the girl). I say, No, wait! Don’t tell me. Let me work it out! a lot. Our hands meet in ‘high fives’ at the end of each lesson and I hug him, exclaiming, Wow! It’s amazing! I can’t believe I did that… but I did.

Me and my talented teacher, Ariel

The prácticas with my girlfriends are kinda funny. I go to El Beso where there is a pillar in the centre of the dance floor. It’s a relatively calm práctica, so there is only one lane… well, one lane… and me dancing round the pillar; it seems full of magnetic energy that pillar, leastwise it seems to attract me. Still it’s helping me too, because as long as it’s drawing me in, I’m not banging into the other couples dancing outside me. Actually, at the ends of tandas, there have been a few high fives between me and my partners (one or two of which have been men; and one even said that he had rarely seen me as happy).

In the beginning of learning to dance as a woman, tango eased my then-tormented mind, gave me a safe place to become beautiful for the first time in my life, and allowed me to connect via my darker edge to release my inner glow. I’m learning to be the boy at a time when I have already connected with my spirit, so maybe it’d feel different if I hadn’t. But, my first impressions are that, in my case, since I am really a girl, being the boy is a lighter experience than being the woman was. It feels more like a game to me than a serious matter. It seems more of a mental challenge than a physical one because my body already understands the fundamentals of tango. It wakens my mind and leaves it buzzing, whereas as normally tango surges through my body and leaves my mind soothed in the wake of its rush.

As a writer, there is so much I want to share of my learning. How does the power I feel as a tango-boy differ to the power I feel as a tango-woman? What do I feel when I hold another female in my embrace? What depth of connection is possible when I, a girl, am dancing as a boy? That’s all to come in Parts 2, 3, 4 and beyond of On learning to be the tango boy, when you are really a girl.

Meanwhile I am in the UK again (supporting my Mum in her recovery from oral cancer), missing the Buenos Aires milongas where I am glam-female-with-fan-in-hand, and in a ‘tango boy’ frame of mind. Thus, I am in the mood to celebrate men! In particular, four brilliant UK-based men of tango. Each of these guys is doing a tango-something in 2011, that I want to enthuse about with Sallycat-passion. I’m very happy to know you all, however slightly or greatly, and I’m hereby awarding each of you, right here and now, an Absolutely Bloody Brilliant Barbie Award or ABBBA  (First awarded, in June 2009, to Chacho at 2×4alpie, the maker of the platinum-and-leopard practice-shoes I wear to dance ‘the boy’ today).

Andreas, David, Steve and David, congrats from me and Barbie, and a zillion thanks for having put a bit more ‘Happy Tango’ energy in my 2010/2011 UK days. Guys, you rock!

Andreas Wichter of Tangokombinat (tangokombinat.de) and Abrazos — Encuentro Milonguero UK

ABBBA awarded to Andreas for masterminding (with his wonderful woman Lynn and his Tangokombinat colleagues) the first ever “Festival of Social Tango” to be held in the UK, on 6th 7th and 8th May 2011; the website gives the following details: 3 days and 2 nights of dancing await aficionados of social tango. Over three days you can take part in workshops with some of the best salón teachers available, work with friends in guided and open prácticas, or sit, chat and dance in the Hex, our central all-day meeting place. At the milongas, you will be dancing late into the night to the best Golden Age tango music chosen by excellent DJs. Sounds super, doesn’t it? I’ve been in touch with Andreas in the lead up to the Event’s launch, and think it’s a unique and exciting happening that lovers of social tango will not want to miss; I even asked him whether girls dancing as boys will be welcome, and he says Yes, Abrazos will smile on anyone who embraces their fellow dancers with love, friendship and respect. Perfect. Book prontísimo, before places sell out!

David Venney of Vidadance (vidadance.com)

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ABBBA awarded to David for bringing to the UK (and international) market great, beautiful and worthy men’s tango shoes, a pair of which have been bought, worn and much loved by Carlos (and are shown, in the pics above, on his feet, which you can tell are Argentine because of the gaucho trousers — luverly aren’t they?). The Vidadance shoes are stylish, well-crafted, well-priced, and there is even a simple foot-sizing system available on the website which actually works for ordering online – Carlos got the right size first time, without trying on the shoes before he bought. Brilliant!

Steve Morrall of TangoUK (tangouk.co.uk)

ABBBA awarded to Steve for his exciting and original work in the field of development of musicality in tango dancers; especially, his weekly workshops in Advanced Musicality at Bramshaw Tango (which I would love to attend one day), and this brilliantly clear and effective chart of tango orchestras through time (click here and go to Page 6 for full details). Steve has always been an inspiration to me because of the strength, passion and generosity in his tango heart, the wide range and quality of the tango events that he runs with his wonderful wife Debbie, and the musical genius  that he brings to the British tango page. Have you heard the music he improvised as a theme for the Happy Hearts Quest? No? Click inside the box where it says ‘1. Pure Happy Hearts’ to listen and see how beautifully it beckons you to join The Quest for Joy that I’ve founded on Facebook for 2011. It’s fab, and so is Steve!

David Bassett of Shrewsbury Tango (shrewsburytango.com)

ABBBA awarded to David for his masterful development (together with his wonderful partner Alison, and assisted by the super teaching of his resident teacher Sharon Koch) of a thriving UK social tango community with a core of capable yet refreshingly humble male-dancers at its warm heart (and the women are fantastic too). I still have to pinch myself that a tango community of the quality and strength of Shrewsbury Tango exists in the very same town where I live when I am in the UK. It is as if someone put Dave and Alison and their Thursday practicas and Monday men’s sessions right here in Shrewsbury, just for Me and C.! I do not think any tango community could have welcomed us more warmly, and the fact that Dave is of such similar tango mind to me, is surely heaven-sent. And even better, David says the same about me (!), which makes me certain that The Universe has had a hand in our meeting and working together. I’m going to be running workshops, on the theme of connection, for David’s tango community in the summer, and I’m very excited about that.

The joy in my boy tango-embrace (Thanks G.)

Ah, how marvellous that learning to ‘be the boy’ has caused me to pause and consider then men of the tango I adore. And not just the men I dance with, but all the tango men past, present and future who add their spirit to every step I walk on the male side of the dance. Guys, by dancing in your tango shoes for a while, I wish that I may I understand you and know you better, and appreciate you even more than I already do.

The lovely trophy image above was originally on the web at dealbreaker.com

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The tango music I love – The Gift (Part 2a)

December 20, 2010 in Diary of a Tango Dancer in Buenos Aires | 15 comments

When I wrote The milongueros I love – The Gift (Part 1) about the men in Buenos Aires I love to embrace and why, I received many enthusiastic comments from around the globe. People sent me their experiences, details of blissful moments on the dance floor, even poetry. And a few people asked me a simple question.

What about the music? they said.

Ah, I thought, as I read through my post. Good point. Had I focused too much on the men, and taken the music for granted?

Back then, despite having danced tango for three and a half years, and three of them in Buenos Aires, I still felt a bit uncomfortable when people asked me about tango music. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the traditional stuff. I did. I’d fallen head over stiletto heels in love with it in 2007 — and I tell that bit of my story, of how I went from pop to scratchy recordings of Pugliese and other marvellous tango-music men, in my book Happy Tango, so, I won’t repeat it here. By the time I wrote Happy T. , I had favourite tango orchestras and could reel off a few of them (D’Angelis, D’Arienzo, D’Agostino, Caló…) with honest passion in my voice.

However, I am a woman who has never won a game of Trivial Pursuit in her life, and slickly trotting out titles and dates on cue in answer to questions such as What Golden Age tangos do you like? seemed unlikely ever to be my destiny. I felt I ought to be able to do it, but I couldn’t. I knew I loved to dance to certain tunes and if they came on in the milonga I’d sit up, energise my most magnetic stare and feel frustrated if I couldn’t find a partner who loved them as much as I did; but, when a dance partner confided the name of a particular favourite, between tangos (as they often do in Buenos Aires), I wouldn’t say I exactly raced home to search for it on iTunes or write it in my notebook. I knew of some tangos by name, ones that maybe Ariel my teacher (whose tango knowledge reaches way beyond Trivial Pursuit), or Carlos, had enthused over. But, I was a person who felt the music rather than needing to register its ‘apellido and DNI number’. Or so I thought.

Then three things happened, and my musical world shifted a little on its familiar axis.

1. In the UK in July 2010, at the invitation of the social-tango-and trad-tango-music-loving organisers of Shrewsbury Tango, I began to research teaching a workshop on ‘deepening the connection in the social tango embrace’. I had to choose the music for the session. I sat at my computer listening and noting and learning… and wanting to know more, because, I realised that if I am to share anything of what I have been taught by ‘the milongueros I love the most’ about soul-to-soul connection in tango, I have to use the music to do it. In fact, I discovered, my choice of music can almost do the job for me — ladies, you try entering the embrace to a haunting introduction such as that of  Jamás Retournarás from  Al compás del corazón (Miguel Caló with vocalist Raúl Berón) without longing to be in the arms of a man who can lead you to melt.

2. On my return to Buenos Aires, a favourite milonguero broke my tango heart by abandoning me for another woman for the tanda we’d regularly danced over a period of many months, and I found I could not rest until I’d tracked the music down by name and played it over and over until it (and he) was out of my system. It may sound extreme, but I had to do this or I knew I would never be able to dance to the music again. I can’t tell you the orchestra concerned, because I think it courteous to protect the identity of the milonguero — his favourite tandas are as familiar to his dance partners past, present and future, as his dance shoes are to his feet. And I owe him courtesy. I’m sad to have lost an adored embrace, for now at least, but I will remain in the man’s debt for my whole tango life, whether  we ever dance together again or not. He placed the tracks that ‘make him tremble’ in my soul’s memory, where I will hold them as gold. My ‘milonguero I loved the most’ scarred me with tango music itself. How could I not want to know its name?

3. To discover whether it’s possible for me to pass on something inspiring and worthwhile on the subject of ‘the gift’ in the tango embrace, I’ve begun a whole new journey — learning to ‘be the boy’ as Ariel (my wonderful teacher) puts it. Last week, by the end of my first lesson, I was able to navigate him around his living room without banging into the walls or the furniture. And, to investigate the boy-part thoroughly, I’m going to have to know my tango music more intimately than ever before. I can’t help wondering if the tracks I will choose to dance when trying to help women to relax and give their gift to the real men of tango, will be the same tracks that I most readily surrender to as a woman. Can’t wait to find out.

These three music-related happenings seem to have started a bit of an avalanche… you know that thing where once you become aware of something, you see it everywhere. A favourite dance partner of mine (from Australia) and I talk in the pause between tangos of how fun (and useful for getting to know the music) it would be if the DJ had an electronic board displaying the name and orchestra of each tango as it’s played. On Thursday at Nuevo Chique the organiser enthused about D’Arienzo as if he were an old friend and tears of joy blurred my eyesight. This Saturday at Los Consagrados I found myself  surrendering to a strong milonguero from La Plata and a tanda of Láurenz and feeling quite desperate to identify the final tango that left me dizzy with release — the rather aptly named (as it turns out, in the light of point 2. above, though its lyrics convey a far deeper level of sadness), Abandono.

Yep, the signs of synchronicity are there. In wanting to know tango music more intimately to help me understand its effect on a soul with a desire to dance,  I think I am definitely on a good path. However, I’m always going to be more heart than head, so don’t be surprised when I tell you I adore Fresedo, you ask me what my favourite track is, and I just can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that I drank with way too much characteristic passion when I was young.

And as for whether my original post, The milongueros I love – The Gift (Part 1),  spoke too much of men and not enough of music. I don’t think so. In my case it was the embrace of men, and not actually the music, that got me hooked on dancing social tango. If you’d simply sat me solo, on day one, in a room with a CD player, a disc of classic tangos and a disc of Robbie Williams and told me to choose which to dance to first, I’m sure that I’d have picked the Robbie Williams, just because my British soul was well used to its sound and beat. It was men — my dream dancer of Hampshire, Ariel, Carlos, a multitude of milongueros in Buenos Aires — who taught me to love tango music through their dance. That isn’t to say that tango music isn’t the mother and father of all these fabulous-tango-dancer men, because, of course, without its existence there would be no tango embrace and none of the resulting gifts. In that sense the music always comes first. Plus, it is the music that dictates when the men in my current tango life dance, and when they don’t — for example, Carlos will be very unlikely to leave his seat for Di Sarli, whereas when D’Arienzo blasts over the pista he just can’t stop himself. And if both the man and I are jumping to our feet for the same track, I think the chances of bliss in our embrace are upped to the height of a full moon above the earth.

So… music. Music. Tango music! Yes, it matters, and the longer I dance, the more it matters to me. Abso-bloody-lutely. My favourite tango music is one of the wings on which my tango soul flies. The milongueros I described in The milongueros I love – The Gift (Part 1) are the other. To release my tango ‘gift’ with utter abandon and leave the eyes of men shining with the perfect combination of surprise, relief and desire, I need them both.

What about you?

Guys, perhaps you can substitute the word woman for man in some parts of the post above.
Anyone who wants to deepen their knowledge of tango music — the history, the personalities, the sounds, the lyrics, the lot — try the websites planet-tango.com, todotango.com and milonga.co.uk.
The photograph at the top of the post is of La Glorieta from where tango music fills a Belgrano park on Saturday and Sunday evenings from 7pm.
If you’d like the full story on how to make the most of Buenos Aires tango, why not treat yourself to my book Happy Tango: Sallycat’s Guide to Dancing in Buenos Aires?

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Mediodia de viernes

May 10, 2008 in Diary of a Tango Dancer in Buenos Aires, Live your dreams | 13 comments

IMGP8282 This short sequence of film tells the reality of just another midday on just another Friday and just another tango practica in Buenos Aires.

It tells the story of one hour in the lives of me and my teacher Ariel Yanovsky, just two days before he left for Columbia, and two weeks before I left for England. When the film was shot we had been dancing together for almost a year for a couple of hours a week.

He is a professional dancer and teacher. I am not. He is young. I am not. He is Argentine. I am English. We both live in Buenos Aires. We are friends. We are both human beings. 

Catrin Strong is a film maker. She is also our friend. She filmed us and edited the film. I thank her from the bottom of my heart because she has managed to reveal more than I expected of who we are. This time I didn’t want perfection, I wanted reality. I got it.

Here is the link.

Tango Mediodia de viernes: Sally y Ariel

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Una película: un tango mágico

February 14, 2008 in Diary of a Tango Dancer in Buenos Aires, Live your dreams | 5 comments

DSCF2032 I remember the first time I heard the word ‘película’. It was in one of my Spanish lessons during my early days in Buenos Aires. I went three times a week for two hours a time. I struggled to stay awake: in those days I was  out dancing tango every night until the early hours. My Spanish teacher used to get me to pretend to make arrangements for the weekend. Hence, with the awkwardness that adults sometimes exhibit when trying to learn a foreign language, I mumbled things like, ‘Queres ir al cine a ver una película con migo?’ At the time I thought, ‘What a strange word for film: it sounds more like a peculiar penguin.’ Now, this word, like so many other gorgeous castellano words, is part of my everyday vocabulary: familiar, comfortable, and as readily on the tip of my tongue as its English equivalent. And somehow, the flow of life has led me from those tedious Spanish classes to Tuesday of this week, when I spent a fascinating morning making ‘una película’ of my own: a little film, of me and Ariel.

The tale of this film illustrates perfectly how my life has unfolded since I arrived in Buenos Aires: city of my dreams, city of new encounters, city of opportunities. One day back in June, I was in Comme il Faut. It was in the days when I used to splash cash on new tango shoes. I was with Gabriella, and we were chatting in English as we tried on the beautiful and the sexy. Other customers were packed into the tiny store. I heard another English accent, my heart leapt with nostalgia, and within a few minutes I had exchanged email ids with a tango dancing ‘chica’ from London. She was leaving the next day and on a final tango shoe spending spree. Her name was Catrin. She said she would be returning to Buenos Aires one day. I said I would be returning to England one day. We only spoke for maybe five minutes, but we agreed that we would meet once more in which ever land we both happened to be at the same time…

Months later, I heard from Catrin. She was back in Buenos Aires. We met in a calm haven in the tourist central nightmare that is Florida Street: ‘Cafe Richmond’. We drank ‘licuados de banane’: hot-day-heaven in a glass, and learned about each other. Both ‘inglesa’, both trying to settle in Buenos Aires, both adventurers, both tango dancers, both just a teeny bit ‘loca’. I liked her. She reminded me of me. And I found out why she came here. She is a film director. She wants to make documentary films in Argentina. She has already made one. She has a dream and she is living it. Different circumstances, but a totally familiar story. We clicked. We became friends. And last week she offered to make a little film of me and Ariel.

What an experience it was. Not quite the usual scenario for my videos… I’ve written before about those days: me overflowing with nerves; Ariel overflowing with adrenalin; some kind and patient friend standing in the corner with my tiny Pentax Optio S7 having to hold their finger down on the button for the entire three minute tango… or should I say countless three minute tangos due to the nervous errors made by me.

First, we had two hours – a bit of time to play. Second, Catrin arrived not only with her camera, but with clothes for me, and a head full of creativity. Third, I was exhausted from a hectic few weeks, and Ariel turned up feeling very sick… neither of us had energy for nerves or adrenalin. Who knows what the two of us will look like on the film, but actually I don’t care because I enjoyed myself so much. Catrin lay on the floor and filmed. She climbed ladders and filmed. She moved around us and filmed. She and I ran about between dances, me in my tango heels, shifting furniture and piles of exercise mats to try to keep all the debris in the room out of shot. Catrin liked the ladder: maybe it will star in the film. Ariel was too ill to move, except when he had to dance. And we  danced over and over (poor guy). We stuck to two of our favourites: ‘La Bruja’ and ‘Pensalo Bien’. We danced in corners, in tiny spaces, in lines, up against the mirrors, sometimes so close to the camera that we hit it as we danced. I laughed a lot. I perspired a lot. Ariel nearly expired, full stop. Catrin was a superstar: told us it was only a practice; told us what to do; told us we were great; helped us relax. Famous film directors of the world, watch out…

I have no idea how ‘nuestra película’ will turn out. Maybe me and Ariel did enough to create something interesting. Maybe we didn’t. One day, if the film is made I will share it on this blog. We talked about more filming when I get back from England, perhaps outside: in the street, on a roof top, in all kinds of places… I love creativity. And oh yet again, I found out on Tuesday that it’s the experience that counts, the doing, the trying… any end result is a great bonus, but it’s the process that I have to enjoy: the journey, the living. I loved putting on a gorgeous red dress. I loved dancing tango for fun for two hours. I loved the creative process. I even loved shifting the furniture! And if I hadn’t said hi to Catrin months ago in Comme il Faut… well, I am just glad that I opened my mouth, and seized the day.

DSCF2068 And too, it was a fitting ‘hasta luego’ for me and Ariel. After almost a year of dancing together, he leaves Argentina for six weeks today, and I leave for England in A WEEK! By a perfect stroke of fate our travel plans coincide, and we will be back in Buenos Aires within days of each other. We will dance again.

I still remember the first day I walked into his flat and announced, ‘I want to be a great tango dancer.’ I felt like Sally Potter. God knows what he thought. But on Tuesday, as we danced for the camera and exchanged warm hugs, we both knew that no longer are we just teacher and student: we are firm friends. If we gave Catrin enough material to create a precious memory of our year together, I will be very very happy.

Who knows what we will call the film. But in my heart it will be named: Sally y Ariel: un tango mágico’.

Ariel Yanovsky:  brilliant dancer, talented musician, amazing teacher, man of style, of generosity, of huge warm heart… for helping to make my year in Buenos Aires, the best of my life, quiero decirte, ‘Mi profesor, mi amigo, te quiero.’

Oh and some months later, here is the film. In the end it was called:

Mediodia de viernes

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My latest tango lessons

November 13, 2007 in Diary of a Tango Dancer in Buenos Aires | 27 comments

DSCF2041 My tango lesson yesterday did not go too well. Ariel was tired. I was tired. It was like we were two slugs dancing. The difference between us is that even when he is exhausted he dances great, me on the other hand: my legs were wobbly, I couldn’t stay on my axis and even the simplest things felt like I was wading through treacle. Every new tango I thought, ‘Sal, focus. You’re gonna dance like you know you can this time.’ But no. It just was not to be.

In the beginning if a class went along these lines I got very despondent. When I arrived in Buenos Aires I was still in the phase of wanting to be perfect. I wanted Ariel to see me dance and tell me that I would be a great dancer. I wanted to stun him with my brilliance. I knew that no way was I brilliant. But I desperately wanted to be. For weeks he used to ask me to walk alone, and then walk alone with decorations and then walk alone with full turns in every step. I used to cringe with embarrassment as I wobbled and tipped in front of him. Sometimes I felt like crying. Sometimes I felt like screaming. But I didn’t. I just kept trying. He used to say to me ‘Don’t worry. Even if you don’t do it great, it will help you dance better. And one day you will do it great when you are not even trying. And even if one day you do it great, then another day you won’t. And it’s ok.’

Over time I noticed that my body was remembering, learning, becoming steadier and more able to do what had once had seemed impossible. I realised that every single thing we did was going in to my head, into my body and into my soul even when I thought it wasn’t. I learned that the combination of my subconscious mind and my body is actually unstoppable. If I allow myself to relax and simply try things out in the classes rather than worry, then some day later (maybe the next day, maybe the next week, maybe the next month) I will find myself doing them quite naturally. This leads to some very happy moments of surprise and delight. Gradually I have stopped worrying about being perfect.

I am not saying that I don’t still have bad days. Now that I know Ariel far better, I am not one to hold back my feelings. I swear a lot, have been known to refuse to carry on doing something, have stamped my foot with frustration. I give him the evil eye (see the picture above!) when he is telling me to correct one of my bad habits yet again. But always we laugh within seconds and he gives me the ‘don’t worry speech’ and we live to fight another day!

And I am not alone in my ups and downs. Over my months in Buenos Aires I have met up with many tango dancers who are here to learn, just like I am. Most of them have shared at least one of their bad moments with me. And I have shared mine with them. It goes something like this…

We arrive. We want to learn fast. We want  to dance great. We take too many classes. We dance every night. We get tired.  We get confused. We get frustrated. We convince ourselves we can’t dance. We ask ourselves why we ever came here in the first place. Maybe we are exhausted. Maybe we had a bad night at the milonga. Maybe we had a tough class. Maybe we are just human.  Maybe we have a cry. Maybe we laugh with a friend and share our gruesome experiences. We pick ourselves up. We carry on. Then, one night or one class or one tanda later it all comes together again and we are flying once more. It’s all part of the process.

I am learning that a tango journey cannot be rushed. The body will take just as long as it needs to walk along its tango path. The more I think, the more I worry, the more I care… well it’s just better if I don’t.  I know I will have low energy days and I know I will have days when my body just isn’t working well, but now when I walk out of my class, whether it has felt great, or whether it has felt less than great, I KNOW that my body has learned something, all by itself. And I know that one day soon or far it will reveal what it has learned to me, and I will smile again.

And there is something else too. Now when I think of what I seek DSCF1963in my tango it is not perfection. Instead I want that my body understands enough to allow my soul to dance. The truth is that in my most recent dreams I see Carlos and me dancing close in the Buenos Aires milongas when we are in our eighties, him singing his favourite tangos in my ear, my heart beating next to his, our two bodies melded into one. In the end, those are the tangos I long to dance. By then, the perfectly executed back sacada will be a dim and distant memory, but my soul will be singing with joy to simply be walking backwards in his arms.

See the story in pictures of one of my tango classes

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Tango birthday: 1 year on

October 6, 2007 in Diary of a Tango Dancer in Buenos Aires | 23 comments

IMGP7043 On 3rd October last year I took my first tango lesson in Southampton, England. I ‘danced’ my first tango in the practica afterwards and my life changed for ever. Back then I lived in the English countryside, gardened a lot and could only speak one language. Now I live in a 10th floor studio looking out over Buenos Aires skyscrapers, haven’t bought any plants for the balcony yet, and could probably have a bash at writing this post in Spanish.

I can remember that lesson as if it was yesterday: I didn’t have any dance shoes, and the only shoes I owned with smooth soles were cowboy boots – so I wore them; I struggled to walk backwards without toppling over; I longed to be able to dance like the guys in the advanced class. The longing got me to Buenos Aires and by a degree of chance – I like to think of it as good fortune – into the tango embrace of my teacher Ariel. We have been dancing together for seven months now, three times a week and today we danced for my camera yet again. I wanted to record my dancing, at the one year mark.

Video days are never easy. Today the weather was not kind. I got soaked on the way. My friends, with the camera, couldn’t find a taxi and so arrived at the moment when we were ending the class. I managed to negotiate with the receptionist for fifteen more minutes in the room, but we were all a bit flustered. Perhaps this was a good thing. My stomach had let go of its butterflies half an hour before, my mind was no longer expecting to be filmed, there was no time to get nervous. We just danced.

There are two new videos here. The first is of a choreographed tango, ‘La Cumparsita’. The second is an improvised tango. You decide for yourselves how I am doing ‘one year on’. And just incase you want to check if I have made progress I am going to include links back to the posts I wrote and the videos we made at 4 weeks, 8 weeks and 16 weeks.

The essence of tango for me is in the feeling in the moment that I dance, in the connection with my partner, in the joy of  my spirit’s expression. The thrilling highs and possibly the most beautiful dancing come when I least expect them. Perhaps you will not ever see my greatest moments in any of my videos. Having a camera in the room steals something from my soul. But I make the videos as a diary of my adventure: so that I can watch how I change; to inspire and motivate me to keep learning; because it is fun. I share the videos with you so that you can see what is it possible for an average person to achieve over time.

So these mark seven months in BA, and one year dancing. Enjoy!

See me and Ariel dance to La Cumparsita

See me and Ariel dance an improvised tango

And my past tangos in words and on film…

See my dancing after 4 weeks in Buenos Aires

See my dancing after 8 weeks in Buenos Aires

See my dancing after 16 weeks in Buenos Aires

Update: And I’ve got the winning feeling today because England have just managed to pull a victory out of the bag against Australia in the Rugby Mundial! I loved this comment on the BBC Commentary at 78 minutes with two minutes to go…

78 mins: “Chorus after chorus of Swing Low rings out – mainly to stop everyone from vomiting with nerves.”
BBC Sport’s Tom Fordyce in Marseille

England survive to fight another day! ROCK ON!

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The 16 week tango

July 8, 2007 in Diary of a Tango Dancer in Buenos Aires | 2 comments

IMGP7031 Four months ago tomorrow, I arrived in Buenos Aires. Yesterday Ariel, Gabriella and I rented a large space to dance in. It was video day. Words cannot describe the extra pressure piled on by a camera. Beforehand there is excitement. I am going to see how I dance, what I have learned, and if I have improved. But, as the music starts it is simply not possible to relax. Or at least, not for me, yet. I want the perfect tango. I want the perfect video. Yes, the pressure is on.

Yesterday we had two goals. We wanted to film a whole improvised tango and our choreography to date of La Cumparsita. It is important for us to video the choreography because we need to study what it looks like to an audience. Have we got the poses right? Do the sequences look good from the front? How does it work in the space and configuration of a stage? Also, I need to observe my technique, my body, my facial expressions and decide what I need to work on. That is the frightening part. But at least if I know, I can change…

Until now, Ariel and I have danced in his apartment and, in the Milongas I dance surrounded by other people. Yesterday I learned that dancing in a large space changes everything. The increase in the level of energy was incredible. We danced with a far greater intensity, Ariel led faster sequences and I made more mistakes. In one tango I got my feet tangled in his and cut my foot. After that I lost my confidence and was unable to finish even one tango without serious problems. Or at least they felt serious to me. I got very frustrated. At one point I actually stamped my feet and nearly broke the heels of my ‘lucky’ black Comme il Faut shoes! Ariel was reassuring, ‘Sally, don’t worry. I am not worried. You can do all these things. It is just that now you know when you make a mistake and you want it to be perfect because of the camera. We haven’t danced in space before. Don’t worry, you will be able to do everything. You can do everything already.’

In the end we got one tango on film and I am including it in this post for you to watch. I think if I am honest I do see big improvements. There is poise. There is beauty. I see, as usual, many things I would like to be different. But I know that I could never have danced like this the first day that I walked through Ariel’s door. Everything improves with time and practice and it will keep doing so.

As for La Cumparsita, when I watch myself dance the choreography I actually can’t believe that it is me. I am impressed by what I am starting to be able to do. It is not an easy choreography but every time I dance it, one more move or step or pose becomes more natural. We will use the choreography for me to study and practice my technique. I will also use it to improve my performance skills. Watching myself, I see that I need to develop an appropriate expression, hold my head in a certain way, allow myself to relax and to connect with Ariel. When we have finished and we dance the whole tango, I will share it with you.

Yesterday I felt angry with myself for all my errors. Why couldn’t I relax? Why wasn’t I better? Why does the camera change everything? Today I feel differently. I am calm again. A tango journey is packed with ups and downs. The ups are mind blowing and the downs are vital. They always lead to a greater understanding, and new goals. After the filming was over, we agreed to rent this beautiful room every Friday for our class. We need to start to work in space. We will begin to inject more energy into our tango so that I can learn to control my body when it has to move at speed. This is the next stage of my tango journey, my tango lesson. I have danced through an important door onto a new and exciting highway in my great adventure.

I hope that you enjoy the evidence of the latest chapter in my story…

Watch me dance the 16 week tango with Ariel

See photos me dancing on the day of the 16 week tango

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The 8 week tango

May 22, 2007 in Diary of a Tango Dancer in Buenos Aires | 5 comments

Today was video day. A scary day because people will see how I dance and I will see how I dance.

In the picture Ariel is con las chicas lindas:  yo, Gabriella y Binky. We created our own little paparazzi pack in Ariel’s apartment: Gabriella recorded my video, I recorded hers and Binky just happened to be walking to work in the street outside, when Ariel spotted her. How weird it that? We girls met at the hostel where all three of our adventures began in Buenos Aires, so it was extra special to be together today for our 8 week tangos.

Last night I danced from 9pm at La Glorieta. It felt very ‘Buenos Aires’ to be out in the cold night, dancing in our coats under the roof of the ‘bandstand’, as I call it. It was there that I met Carlos around two months ago and last night as we danced, we laughed at the funny little conversation we had back then. ‘De donde sos?’ ‘Inglaterra, soy Inglesa.’ ‘Queres bailar?’ ‘Si’ which was about as far as my castellano could stretch! I have probably danced more hours with Carlos now than I have with any other man. These days we laugh alot, hug alot, talk about our lives, our thoughts, our love of tango. Quite how he manages to understand me, I have no idea because I usually speak in the present tense when the vocabulary gets tricky. Last night I asked him what my most used phrase in castellano is. His answer, ‘Necesito…’ ‘I need…’! My family will probably laugh to read that. They know what a kid I can be when I’m hungry, tired, cold, desperate for chocolate. I know he finds me ‘muy graciosa’ (very amusing). But then his attempts at English are pretty hilarious too. But we are great mates and help each other. And most importantly, we LOVE dancing together. After La Glorieta and a dinner that took about an hour to find – Sunday night is early closing in Buenos Aires - we danced at La Viruta until 4am.

Thus, it was a long night and getting up to dance my 8 week tango was tough: ‘muy cansada’ doesn’t begin to describe it and I’m still recovering from the bug which has knocked me out for weeks on and off. I am getting my excuses in early you will realise! Ariel was in playful mood, dressing in his cool new shoes and even putting a jacket on. He did appear in the craziest glasses and hat combination that I have ever seen, but Gabriella and I suggested that he may prefer the world not to see him in those. After a photo call, and a review of said photos, he took them off…

I chose to dance to ‘De puro guapo’ by Pedro Laurenz which is one of my favourites. Ariel and I dance to it quite often although no choreography, only improvisation. Seeing myself dance on video is difficult these days. I am very critical of myself. I am posting the video because I promised I would, but it’s hard for me to do it. There are mistakes and some problems with the embrace. I can see much I want to improve – including my choice of clothes. Next time I am keeping my cardigan on!

I have to remember on days like this that I only started dancing tango in October 2006 and I have only been taking lessons here for two months. So, not even eight months dancing yet, but believe me, the hours I put in it could be several years… I hope you like the music, seeing Ariel’s skill and watching me dance.

I can’t get the video to upload to Picasa so it’s on You Tube. When I watch it I have to let the whole thing play once before I can watch it through smoothly. Maybe it’s my Argentine broadband connection but that’s my tip. Just leave it to run through, then watch it from the beginning.

Watch me dance a tango with Ariel after 8 weeks of classes

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Club Gricel celebrates!

April 22, 2007 in Buenos Aires Information, Diary of a Tango Dancer in Buenos Aires | 2 comments

Me and Ariel at Club Gricel Club Gricel is a special place. It is a lovely traditional Milonga with gorgeous music, a local clientele and usually plenty of space to dance. On Saturday nights Maya Gaillard teaches a group tango class there with my teacher, Ariel. The Milonga begins afterwards at 11.00pm and runs until 5.00am. Our class have tables reserved for the Milonga so we are always there with friends and our teachers. Over the weeks, we have gradually been accepted and welcomed by the regular Porteno clientele. There is a strong community atmosphere at Gricel and we are slowly becoming part of the Gricel ‘family’.

Last night was the 12th anniversary of the reopening of Club Gricel and they celebrated with a ‘fiesta’. The place was packed, every table was reserved and at around 1.30am all the couples who teach at Gricel took turns to dance for us. Ariel and Maya danced a tango. Although they teach the class together, they are not partners and have never danced together before. They had no time to practice so their tango was improvised. I thought they looked the perfect couple. One day I would love to have the space to dance a tango like this, with or without an audience. Maya is a beautiful dancer and inspires me to elegance and grace.

Normally we eat empanadas or tostadas at Gricel after our class, but last night they were serving free ‘paella’ – at least that’s what it appeared to be – in little plastic tubs. I couldn’t help thinking that seafood was a slightly odd choice for a Milonga. We were all madly eating mints afterwards! It wasn’t a great dancing night for me, I seemed to end up with a string of men who were more interested in holding on to me between dances (not the done thing) or inviting me to meet them for ‘coffee’, than focussing on their tango. But hey, some nights are like that. It’s the same the world over… I am gradually learning how to deal with this sort of thing, in Castellano, with dignity. Now that I feel like a beautiful dancer I am learning to believe that I can be one, whatever my leader gets up to!

More important to me was the happy social interaction at our tables, and with the tables around us. We had fun, and had our photos taken with the older, distinguished and charming locals who told us we were divine. One man who is clearly a very important person at this Milonga took the trouble to stop me as I came off the dance floor to tell me that I dance beautifully. I can’t tell you how this sort of moment makes me swell with pride. When we arrive people like this interrupt their dancing to wave at us from the dance floor. I cannot believe sometimes that they are actually waving at me! After all I am in Buenos Aires now, not Southampton…

The birthday cake was finally cut at 3.00am. Gabriella and I had been ready to leave at least half an hour before but we were determined not to miss out on our cake! It was worth waiting for because of course it was full of the ‘dulce de leche’, that no Argentine cake can be without. A sweet, sweet way to end a perfect night. It takes us about half an hour to leave Club Gricel. Everyone wants a goodbye kiss, it is the Argentine way. We all promise to be there next Saturday and we will be. It is one of the highlights of my week.

See pictures of the Club Gricel Fiesta

Watch Ariel and Maya dance an improvised tango

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The 4 week tango

April 18, 2007 in Diary of a Tango Dancer in Buenos Aires | 6 comments

Me at La Ideal There comes a time in a Buenos Aires tango adventure to set down a progress marker. After 4 weeks of private lessons with my teacher Ariel, we made a video of the two of us dancing a tango together.

It’s hard for me to remember how I danced when I left England. In BA I am taking 3 private lessons a week plus several group classes. Ariel took me right back to the basics: walking, walking with decorations, pivots, pivots with decorations, ochos, ochos with decorations, giros, giros with decorations, barridas, boleos, cadenas, my ganchos. At the end of my first 4 weeks we had covered a lot of ground. We also learned the basics of milonga. From this time, four phrases stick in my mind:

  1. ‘Extend, slide, arrive’ which refers to any step I take. This is often replaced by ‘Not with the body’ which he whispers in my ear as we dance, whenever I forget. My understanding is that as long as I have only extended my leg first he can change his mind about the step, if I have gone with my body then his options are closed down.
  2. ‘Chest, hips and legs’ which refers to any pivot. This means that the legs are a consequence of the body’s actions and can therefore pivot in a decoration and boleos are a natural extension of this idea.
  3. ‘Give me more resistance’ and if I do not I am in danger of falling backwards and pulling Ariel with me. Ariel dances with a very strong energy.
  4. ‘The embrace’ which reminds me when I forget to open the embrace when given the slightest indication that he wants, or I am going to need space. We always begin our tangos in the closed (very closed!) embrace which is completely normal in the Milongas here. But frequently within the tango we move between closed and open embrace to dance anything that needs space to feel comfortable.

These concepts felt alien to me when I arrived here. Of course I am certain that they had been taught but my body had not understood them. I was permanently tense in the upper half of my back and in my shoulders and as a result my legs did not flow in their movement. Slowly I am absorbing what I am taught, I am relaxing and enjoying my dancing like never before.

Of course I was a little tense in the video tango. I knew I was being filmed after all. Maybe there are mistakes. Certainly in time there will be additional decorations, more style… But during these first 4 weeks I learned to dance a slow, controlled tango, mostly employing with confidence the four ‘rules’ above.

So, because I am brave and I promised honesty, I will let you see the videos I make, this one today, one in 4 weeks time, one in eight weeks time and so on… Then you will be able to decide for yourselves whether it is worth pursuing a tango dream or not. I guess for me, what ever you think, whatever the outcome for me, it has been worth it already for the journey itself, for the great adventure.

Watch a video of me and Ariel dancing a tango after 4 weeks

The video is on Picasa and for some reason has no cover picture but just click on the black ‘photo’ to see the video!

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